


A Little Less Stifling

by AuraSweet13



Series: Samar/Harold [4]
Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-04-26 02:46:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4987108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuraSweet13/pseuds/AuraSweet13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Samar pays Cooper a visit in his new office.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little Less Stifling

Harold Cooper was so focused on the information on the screen that he was unaware of anything else going on around him. Karakurt was to blame for the fourteen deaths, and yet Liz was the one under scrutiny for them.

It made him sick.

A knock on the door jolted him back to the present, and he looked up.

Samar stood there. He would never say this, but it was nice to see a friendly face. "Reven Wright told me I could find you down here." She seemed awkward, like she didn't know how to approach him. But it was more than that. He could see that something else was bothering her. Not that he could blame her, everything was strange now.

So he decided to break the silence. "I'm not sick." He told her, watching her eyes widen. "The tumour, the whole sickness, it was fabricated by a member of the cabal to ensure that I would help him push his agenda."

"Connolly?" She guessed, shocking him. But she was observant, so he wasn't surprised she'd picked up on that. He nodded, and she did too, a serious expression on her face. There was a pause as she shifted to lean against the doorframe. "I'm glad you're not sick, sir."

"You don't need to call me that any more, Navabi. I'm no longer your superior." He pointed out.

_Don't remind me._  She thought.

"Are you doing all right?" He asked. "You look well."

"I am." Samar told him with a nod. But even as she spoke, she didn't feel the way she was saying. All she could do was hope Cooper didn't pick up on that.

Judging from the look on his face, he had picked up on it. "Are you sure about that?"

Samar was used to internalizing her problems, so she opened her mouth to say that she was fine. "No, I'm not." was what came out instead, and she winced.

"Do you need someone to talk to?" He asked, and she gave a weak smile at his generous words. Scared of what would come out if she opened her mouth again, she nodded. He gestured to the chair near his desk. He hated his smaller office with a passion. "Please, by all means, have a seat." Samar brought it over to the desk and sat down, as he got up to close the door. If he knew anything about Samar, it was that she didn't enjoy advertising when she had a problem. He wanted her to feel as safe as possible when she was here with him, especially if his hunch was right and things were getting worse. So he closed the door and walked back over to sit in his chair. Yeah, it was definitely not nearly as comfortable as the chair in his old office. "Now, what's the problem?"

"Where do I start?" She murmured. "Ressler isn't taking his new position well at all. He's trying to pretend that he's not bothered, but it's so clear that he is, his blatant denial is getting on my last nerve. He's doing his best, but he's not..."

"He's not what?" Harold prompted, and Samar resisted the urge to look away.

"He's not you." She admitted shyly, keeping her hands in her lap instead of brushing her hair back from her face like she wanted to.  _He's married._ She had to remind herself. But, despite knowing that, she felt safe with him. Yes the office was small, and cramped, and devoid of any real color. Despite that, though, Cooper was a constant presence. She had always felt safe and comfortable around him. She'd been so happy to see him back the other day, but she'd been scared to show it because of the public place. Now, however, she felt like it was just the two of them, so she could show how him being around made her feel. "Not that he's doing a bad job. He just doesn't have the experience you do." The last thing she wanted was to come off like she was berating Ressler's skills. Whether she liked his way of doing things or not, he was technically her superior now, and she knew disrespect wasn't tolerated.

Harold blinked. Her words simultaneously caught him off guard and warmed his heart at the same time. "Well, that's, very kind of you to say." He felt an urge to tell her about his conversation with Reven Wright, but more than that, he wanted to tell her the reason he had declined her offer. Because of Liz and the task force, and the conversation he'd had with Samar what felt like years ago now-though it had probably only been a few weeks at the most. He couldn't leave them, not with things as tumultuous as they were. Especially not now that he knew Samar was struggling to come to terms with how things were. "Is that it?"

Samar shook her head. "No, it's not. That's only the tip of the iceberg." She met his eyes, and then shook her head. "But I've taken up enough of your time as it is." She started to get up. "I don't want to bring you down with my problems."

Before Harold could stop himself, he caught her hand. "Samar, look around. I'm no longer the assistant director for this task force, and because of that I no longer have any power within it. My new office is tiny and cramped and the most unwelcoming room I have ever been in. Believe me when I say that you're not taking up any time I didn't already have free." He looked up at her, still holding her warm hand in his. "I want to be here for you, if you'll allow me to be. If not, I completely respect that." And with those words, he let her hand go, though he swore he could see a faint pink tinge to her cheeks. He found himself hoping that she would let him in, but at the same time, he wouldn't push her if that wasn't what she wanted.

And then she was sitting back down. "Ressler took a careless shot that could have seriously injured me, if not done worse." She admitted, and he felt as if his eyes were bugging out of his head. "And even though he made the shot, I was terrified that the fingers of the man holding the gun just under my chin would twitch and I'd be a goner anyway. I feel like I can't trust him anymore, and if I'm being honest, I'm kind of terrified of him, of his mental state right now." He felt a warmth go through him that he could only pinpoint as flattery, that she was sharing this with him. But, he figured that she was only doing so because she didn't have anyone else she felt comfortable enough to go to with it. "I feel less like his partner and more like his babysitter. But I guess I'm not too surprised about that. Liz was his partner, not me." She looked away from him, at the wall. "Even after all this time, I still don't feel like I really fit in here." It broke his heart to hear her say that, because he'd been a witness to how hard she tried to prove to the rest of the team that she could be trusted. Aram, like him, had warmed to her almost immediately, but Liz and Ressler had taken time.

Was Samar worried that Ressler was starting to distrust her again?

"That's another reason I came down here to talk to you." He looked at her as she spoke again, her eyes locked on his. "I've...I've been considering going back to Mossad full time." Her words made his heart feel as though it had dropped into his stomach like a large stone. "I don't know what to do, and Ressler and Aram already have enough on their plates without me making it worse. So I came to you to get your opinion."

_I don't think you should leave._ He thought.  _Scratch that, I don't **want** you to leave. _But he couldn't dare say that, because if she was truly unhappy, he didn't want to be the reason she stayed here. "Ultimately, the decision is yours. The best piece of advice I can offer you in this situation is to trust your instincts. If going back to Mossad full time is what you really want to do, then you should do it." The words almost choked him, but they were out there now. "However, I can say with confidence that you'd be missed here at the Post Office."

Samar looked almost unbearably sad all of a sudden, and his heart constricted in his chest. "Are you sure about that?" She asked quietly, and for the second time since she had come down to visit him, he felt like his heart had broken. She shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut tightly. "I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm usually more put together than this."

As if he didn't know that already. "Stress can be hell on the body and the emotions." He offered. "And in answer to your question, yes, I am sure you'd be missed. Aram would miss you, certainly. And," Did he dare? What did he have to lose? "...I would, as well."

She seemed to brighten up slightly, and in turn that made him feel better. "You would?"

"Just because I've been demoted, doesn't mean I've stopped caring for any of you." Harold told her simply, and she felt her cheeks grow hot. "So, I would miss you if you left."

"I haven't made a solid decision yet." Samar told him. "So don't plan a goodbye party for me or anything like that, because I don't even know if I'm going to leave."

"I promise I will hold off any party planning until you make your decision." He told her, making the 'cross my heart' motion. He relished the sound of her laugh, and considered something. "Will you tell me when you make a decision?"

"Of course." Samar told him. There was a pause. "Forgive me if I'm overstepping my bounds, but is there any way you can get an upgrade? This place feels more like a prison cell than an office."

Harold chuckled gently. "I agree with you. Unfortunately, this was all I could get. My only other option is to no longer be working here, and for me, that isn't even an option. So, a prison cell office it is. It'll hopefully be more welcoming when I unpack." He gestured to the box on the floor. "And it's not as stifling with company."

Samar smiled shyly in spite of herself. "Well, I'm glad I can make this place a little more bearable for you." She offered. The longer she stayed here with him, the less she wanted to go back to the Post Office, the War Room. She knew she needed to go back eventually, though. "I really should get back. I just wanted to come see you." She said as she got up.

"Well, feel free to stop by any time, please." Harold looked at her, and she grinned and nodded.

"Yes, sir." She gave a teasing wink, and he laughed. Then she headed to the door and out of the room. He felt her absence from the room more deeply than he'd ever care to admit. The atmosphere was colder and more unforgiving now that she was gone.

_I'll just have to get used to it._ He thought.


End file.
